Translations to romeo and juliet in modern english
 

The Story: Dream One


A honeymoon of short duration in which
Romeo wouldst leave Juliet with her pony on the go.

Oh Romeo, wouldst thou leave me
with my pony on the go? For if thou
did I’d be obliged to slap it. And t’would
never be exactly comme il faut, Indeed,
I’d be constrained to handicap it.
Racy girl, full dressage would lead to
insufficient woe, A prematurely consummated
plot because I lingered. Pray cool down till I
I remount incognito, And be content with
fervid equus fingered.
Flaccid pilgrim, thou wouldst leave me
here in vaginated toil, All wanting and
askew, a panting ingenue, To work myself
into an artless broil, Akin to hand-stretched,
frothied Montagues!

Ah Juliet, it ne’er occurred to me in fondest
reverie, That even spirited mares not beg
for intermission. Aye, countless swindled
maids must be'n recorded history,
Encumbered and unsated by so miniscule
a seat of acquisition.

Cockered boy, do not peter out on me
in phallic bonhomie, For as you rise to
empathize the nightingale doth sing,
Which yet leaves time for lusty-thrusted
spirited activity, By thine uplifted night
bird fully...cocked...in wanton caroling.

Hollow night bird, tis not the nightingale
you hear, But the prudent owl who know’st
when to rest, Too wise to let us our own plot
besmear, By labile minored pleas effused
from being penisless.

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